Seeking joy.

I was finally able to run today after two weeks off. I had hoped that running would shove some of the mind-gunk out of the way and free the ideas that live in my brain.

No such luck.

It appears I have only one thought lately and that is the idea of seeking joy. I just want to be happy. Actually, I should amend that statement. There's "happy" and then there's "happy." I know, what's the difference? The first is how I feel now: I am happy. I am thankful for what I have in my life and know that I am very fortunate in many ways. The other "happy" is the deep, down know in my core (at risk of sounding too "out there") that I'm in tune with the universe. Right place, right time, right everything. Is it wrong to want to feel that joyful? Is that even a normal thing to desire? I don't want to walk around with a silly smile plastered on my face. That's not joy to me. I just want to feel like I'm doing my best job fulfilling my purpose (whatever that purpose may be)and thereby feeling happy on the inside pretty much all the time.

This is what I think about. A lot.