Trying not to stress.

I'm sitting here thinking how much I wish I were out running. I was sidelined for Sunday's half-marathon and now I'm completely freaked out by the what ifs? Nothing has changed except some knowledge. Now my lack of breathing could possibly cause me to drop dead. I'm afraid to run and I hate feeling afraid of anything. It's bad enough being told what to do, but I don't know what to do with the fear. I hope the test is negative so that I can get back to my well-established routine and yet if it is inconclusive, I'm still in the same place with my lack of air. I'm feeling powerless right about now. I need to feel like I'm in charge and that I am making the choices rather than having them made for me.

It's the little things.

I've been following the Hanson Plan for training and with the exception for a week of not running (because I did a 250+ mile cycling trip) I've been really consistent, but somewhat frustrated. Just haven't seen much improvement (at least not as much as I'd like.) However, Thursday called for an 8 mile pace run and my pace for all 8 miles including my always rough/ shaky start was 10:38. It's slow by most standards but it's the best consistent mile pace I've maintained in quite a while. I'd like to drop it to a 10:15 by race time but I don't know if that's realistic. Bit by bit. I will get faster. "Comparison is the thief of joy." Just need to keep reminding myself that there will always be those who are quicker (slower). I'm out there and running just for me.