Thursday, November 5, 2009

Start again.

How come just when I understand how it feels to be happy it disappears? Just slips away and I have to go out seeking it again and of course, that's not the way to find happiness. It will appear when it's darn good and ready.

Or that's how it feels anyway.

I'm up. I'm down. I'm running in joy. I'm struggling to get out of bed. What's the deal? I thought I'd undergone a total transformation. I was on my way to decisive confidence and self-love. (I mean hell, I wrote a love letter to my thighs.) But tonight I'm wallowing again in these feelings of unworthiness and disappointment. Why? What will it take for me to be happy?

I will review what I'm thankful for before I go to sleep tonight. I will start again tomorrow and invite joy.

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