What, already?

What's wrong with me? It's only January 3rd and I'm already checking out shoes. One day of sore feet and I'm convinced I need new shoes. Oh, but it's so tempting. I play games in my head and tell myself that shoes aren't clothes. Shoes are necessary.

Yes, they are necessary but it's not like I don't have several pairs already. I just want something to replace my favorites which must be retired. They were comfortable and stylish and had a bit of "wow." I wore them to death. No amount of repair can save them anymore. I want another pair that has that same feel. There it is-- "I want."

Is there a way to want, to get and then not feel guilty?

First day of the first month: Finances.

I decided to tackle this one head on this morning. It's interesting because some of the other goals are caught up in this one from reducing clutter to cutting spending. So far I've cleared out my ridiculous files and shredded everything that could be tossed. Next I'm planning to evaluate some budgeting software and plugging in my information. I need a clear idea of how much money is coming in and going out each month so I can start working toward a goal-- travel?

Not only is savings a goal, but also knowing where the money goes matters. I keep thinking I waste a lot so I should focus on spending on what matters. That constant refrain. My question and comment. It's becoming my touchstone. If it doesn't matter, don't waste resources of time, energy, money, or emotion.

Back to work. I'm off to a good start and don't want to get too sidetracked. I'm not sure how to ward off my tendencies to procrastinate effectively.

Simplification for better living.

I've decided to embark on a "happiness project"; actually, it's more of a "Simplification for Happiness" project. I'm not sure exactly what form it will eventually take, but clearly I work better with some sort of a plan in place. (I've learned that much from my marathon training.)

First I want to get rid of stuff. I really just want to clear out and give myself some space.

Then I really need to get a handle on my finances. (I probably should start with that. It would relieve a lot of stress.)

Connected to this is to just quit spending. If I don't need it and I don't love it, I shouldn't buy it. Period. (I was thinking about instituting a "consumables only" rule but it seems rather harsh. I think I'll start with no new clothes. That seems reasonable to try again.)

Then the focus needs to shift to what matters. What do I want in my space? How can I start working towards what I want to do?

So this is where I am on this new year. It's not exactly a resolution and yet, I guess it is. It's a resolution to live better.

Oh-- add time management into this as well. Procrastination and "drifting" are problematic.

Llama or turtle? Doesn't matter.

While it would be nice to be fast, there's something to be said for slow and (relatively) steady. I finished marathon #2. Last year wasn't a fluke. I did it again.

I am ready.

I am carbed, hydrated and stretched.
I am relaxed.
I am excited.
I am ready to run a marathon.

Am I a marathoner?
Yes, I am.
Can I run 26.2 miles?
Yes, I can!

(Am I a nerd? Clearly.)

Time for me.

This is such an important idea. My "me" time has been running time although I've really struggled to stick to a consistent schedule this fall. Why? I seem to put other things first. Okay, not all other things-- just work. Why is work the priority? Shouldn't doing things that make me a better person take precedence? I don't mean just running but really allowing myself the time to spend on developing relationships and self-improvement through reading and learning about things that matter to me. It's so easy to get swept up in overworking because the job just doesn't end at 2:20 (or even 3:20, 4:20, 5:20). And yet, I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job much of the time. I need to remember to step back and limit the impact of work on my day and figure out how to reprioritize for happiness.

What are bootstraps and how do I pick myself up with them?

I've gone right down the tubes. Work started again. Free time became more limited and I just quit writing.

I'm a blogging failure.

Or am I? I'm not quite ready to quit.

This goes back to the whole idea of self definition. In my mind I was a runner. I had no reason to see myself as a runner, but it was somehow part of my subconcious. Likewise, I am a writer. I don't know how to get this part of me "out," but if I can run a marathon, I can become an author.

Yikes. An author? That just kind of popped out. Maybe that's my next step. Maybe I can go from writer to author.

I went from wanna-be runner to marathoner so maybe it's not so far-fetched.

Create my own reality-- I am an author.