First day of the first month: Finances.

I decided to tackle this one head on this morning. It's interesting because some of the other goals are caught up in this one from reducing clutter to cutting spending. So far I've cleared out my ridiculous files and shredded everything that could be tossed. Next I'm planning to evaluate some budgeting software and plugging in my information. I need a clear idea of how much money is coming in and going out each month so I can start working toward a goal-- travel?

Not only is savings a goal, but also knowing where the money goes matters. I keep thinking I waste a lot so I should focus on spending on what matters. That constant refrain. My question and comment. It's becoming my touchstone. If it doesn't matter, don't waste resources of time, energy, money, or emotion.

Back to work. I'm off to a good start and don't want to get too sidetracked. I'm not sure how to ward off my tendencies to procrastinate effectively.

Enjoy the quiet.

Yesterday late afternoon by the lake was beautiful. The orange light illuminated the boathouse and the ice on the water.

Nothing moved. Nothing made noise.

I stopped at the two mile mark simply to enjoy the quiet.Pausing allowed me to quiet my brain and just "be." I stood still for maybe five minutes before resuming my run back along the trail, to the car, to the noise.

I need to pause more often.

Looking back; moving forward.

I realize that making resolutions is often an exercise in futility. Usually within a week I've forgotten my original plan or it's so general (ie. be a better person) that it is essentially meaningless.

This year I'm going to try something different. I have a 3-parter. The first deals with the ongoing desire to simplify and my need to become more financially responsible.

I'm not entirely sure how it happened (or when) but I have become a shopper. Used to be that I'd buy new clothes when the old ones were worn out/ didn't fit or for a special occasion. Somehow that morphed into, "Oh, that's cute. It fits me well. I like it. I work hard. It should be mine" thinking. As a result (by my standards, not in comparison to many other people), I have a lot of clothes. I spend too much time worrying/ thinking/ considering buying clothes. So that's new year's resolution #1-- a moratorium on shopping for clothes--including shoes-- for 2010. I tried to do this earlier this year and was doing well until running provided all sorts of excuses for needing clothes. Once the initial permission was granted, I just kind of kept going.

There will, of course, have to be a few exceptions. "Foundation garments" (hah-- that's such a funny term) may need to be replaced. One other addendum is if I knit it, I can wear it. I have a sweater on the needles and another that I'm planning to make. I think it's reasonable that if it constitutes a creative endeavor, it should be allowed. (Not to mention the fact that I'm such a slow knitter it will likely take all year to produce one wearable item!)

The only other exception would be a "special event" purchase-- new running shoes would fall under that category but not any more shorts/ shirts/ etc. I suppose they could be considered a "foundation" garment in some circles since they are essential.

I'll have to keep updates on how this one is progressing. It doesn't seem like it should be an unreasonable goal, but I'm embarrassed to say it will be difficult.

The next goal is to have more communication with friends. So, I'm aiming for a once weekly "live" connection to a non-work-related friend. Doesn't seem like much, but I've been really reclusive lately.

Finally, I want to spend this year reconnecting with my thinking self. I want less "fluff" and more substance in my reading so it's off the computer and into the books.

This is enough for now. If I can do these three things, I will be on my way to fulfilling that nebulous catch-all resolution of becoming a better person.